PunkerUpEmoKidd

To Do It Agian...

2008-06-06T03:43:25Z

Ok, consitering like no one from my school really has an Lj I guess they can't really see the other side of me, its kinda so obviouse no one would dare to join let alone look so in a way its a way to fill all my compulshions into a internet file without being caught or some stupid shitt.

Well im FINALLY getting over my eating disorder, like FINALLY. normal thinking & everything, I just...hate the way I look =( I miss the way I did look back then, I was pretty, then I cutted my hair & it turned to shit, hopefully I'll look like I did in the picture that I have posted....

Well anyway besides beating around the misconceptional point, since my mind is working fine again I can go back to being ana again but this time oober successuve. Theres a way I can get my hands on laxatives again & I'll be taking them when im gone so I wont get caught, oh man, by this september before I go back to Linesville I plan on loseing 25 pds atleast (more if Staci gets me the laxatives) I lied to her saying it was black mail but c,mon body water or not they help. THey took off a good 10 to 15 pds when I was using them, 2 boxes, I told her to get 2 so then thats an automatic loss.

Well anyway other then my sick compulsinated supposeivly "fixed mind" is turning, its actually just a recording of what I would say before. Well I can imagine myself again all the time

No thank you, Im not hungry, I already ate, I dont feel good, im too tired, I'll do it later.

I never do eat it later, I gave it to my dog whch apperently is very deadly bc he gained 10 pds o.o
But anyway, I can just starve again, the craving to have something tro eat in a sickish was is successful, I was a sob story, went sexi healthy then in my ugly position now. I am going to be stick thin again to where I can run in a sports bra with no worry, I just need to post on a few of my ana sites to find out how much weight doing w/e (im not going to say laxatives bc last time I did onna thingy they posted) if I find out how much weight I able to be lost within 3 months, starting june 15th for me but im so angry at myself I'll probably start, tomorrow!!! last day of school anyway. . . . . I was going to transfer to conneaut Lake but then I relized my compitiotion was cut so it makes it easier to consist in a school where all the teachers luv ya, ur always well behaved, the gudiance councelere loves ya but the kids ... still pricks O.O oh well basically this is such a wrant of a journal bc typeing can go on & on & on faster then a pen can to paper (bc pencils are ment for drawing not writing!!) I think I'll lhave to take apps class again bc I know I bomed the final even though Im not done with it yet, oh well while im in math & i'll watch 1 guitar hero game then I'll go finish my final then go leave to do smoething in the band room "RAVES" Well I hope mr. M wears sandals tomorrow likwe he siad he would so I can bash his descuating hiary hobvbits tores....hes adorible & well i g2g take a shower & blow through some english with the AC on O.O bc its practically 12 now, well ily & nits alls <333sexi & makes the cutest puppy face in the world, you would be all aww come here, kinda thing

Laxatives

2008-05-23T01:50:15Z

Ok, this is a double barreled question so here it goes...

Laxitives...you can lose up to a pd a day (counting water weight)..right?

& does anyone know if it's possible to lose 20 pds in one month? & a total of around 28pds in 6 weeks?

im just wondering & maybe here could help ^^

Horse Riding

2008-04-20T17:32:50Z

ok practically past 2 days I've been out on the farm 48 hrs riding training, taking care of the barn ect. Well heres the thing....
1st day I was riding Storm (my old pony) with nothing but a halter & lead rope. well I was running him around, trotting loaping, ect. well all of a sudden my uncle comes home from work...well I was riding at the moment & he started to back up to empty the back of his dump truck thingy... well Storm starts to buck rear & jump while im staying on him pretty muchg better then most cowboys that I know can thats even w the rope around the horses waste. so im good, I stayed on & calmed him down. Consitering I've been riding since the age of 7 im oober good. haha & I fell off has so many casulties in the past I have earned the right to brag bc I know my shit bitch!!! haha well then I worked with my new pedigree PAint Poco I lunged him he has issues w his right side o.o its crazy. WEll then in the morning I played wild horse in the ring w storm (basically you case him around & he acts like a wild horse runs away & fake kicks & charges at you. its funn, then later I hard rode Poco..still haveing issues with his RIGHT side so, guess imma get the looked at. well then I took care of all the other horsesa & barn again & went home where I got bit by bugs...probably from the cat -.- so im pissed, so yea if you actually read all of theis I love ya' thankies ^^ <333

Starting Tuesday...

2008-03-25T03:31:59Z

Ok, Things starting Tuesday are the following, I got back to school from Spring break,the movie "The Mist" comes out on DVD and I start my bet/deal with my friend Anthoney.

1. I hate school & the ppl that go there & after what happened on Spring Break things might be a bit awkward between me & my guy friend (but I did find out hes not as sexy or hott shott as he turned out to be xD)

2. I saw the movie"The Mist", by Stephen King & cried so hard at the ending, so guess whos geting it on DVD tomorrow!!!!(aka Tuesday)

3.Im going to revert to old habits like I did for thoughts past 6 months when I turened anorexic & bulemic(the main bet is $10 but aye its some motivation) The person to lose the most weight by April 27 which I belive is the last day of april & numbers will be tallied by May 1st to see who lost the most weight. im sorry, I thing he does have the upper hand in this bc he turened WAAAY over annie then I did (aka he lost more weight then I did when he got an eating disorder) But I have thye mind set (I turend bulemic & anorexic with a heavy mind set so in other words ,its gonna be harder for me to break comsitering I have the over obsesive thoughts of still a person with anorexia & now a reicuring Bulemia)

So just for the fun of it & posting in my own journal for once consitering im posting more & more in communities each day, I'll keep you guys posted, so I can still keep busy on my main live journal ^^ wish me luck & if you want to u can joing also, when ever u join wheather a day later, thats just how much longer u have to go to tally it up, who knows the winner might just get 10 ^^

ily g2g <3333

Ok,Ok <33333

2008-01-26T14:54:26Z

Its a Saturday & im super board, I replyed to every one of the communities on LJ except my own journal. Well any way... Its snowing crazy outside & I still gotta take care of the horses,im super board & wanna get a friend to hang out with..I need more friends, Imm send out an application now! lol Well anyway I was recently put down by onew community b/c there meanies & they have noidea how to treat some one just b/c they spell a few words wrong which really pisses me off, gah -_- hate thoughts ppl....well anyway im waiting to watch Matt Lush on his morning (for me afternoon) cook show for vegans so its gonna be totally rad xD ok, ok um.....im super board & stuff so ytea, I guess I posted just to keep up w/ stuf , so ttfn ..still goin' to see Sweeny Todd!!!! XD <33333

Sweeney Todd..ON BROADWAY!

2008-01-16T01:49:47Z

Im going to see Sweeny Todd on Broad way, im probably going on a Sunday but I'd like to lose 6-7 pds before then. I had around 800 calories yesturday,burned 500 working out, had 700 today, burned 450 working out And a natural metabolsim (which I still have at the moment b/c Im eating around the 1200 calorie mark, enough to keep the metabolism going) But any way, I wanna see how fast I can lose the weight! So hopefully I can catch an eye at the play. Oh & BTW, im 160pds and im 5'7-5'8 so im avereage weight for my height but I've been down to 113 before, so I say, im going to be atleast 130 by march, wish me luck! =D

anaie

2007-11-28T04:50:37Z

im so depressed im so fat, I hate me its just depressing..eating, I need to be more anerexic im not thing..I hate me so much..I have no will power to not eat, god im pathedic well g2g nite

eating....yuck..bingeing...im discuting

2007-11-21T01:20:56Z

ok ever since I've gotten"help" for my eating disorder I've gained like 30-40 pds im 158-160 now, im discusting, I could use some support, please, I need to lose atleast 10pds or more by december (yes my form of support is someone saying ho fat I am now that im not 113 pds or I can't slide into a size 2 anymore, please help =/) I would also really really REALLY like to know if anyone has any good tips for preventing bingeing (I binge every 3rd day its sad if I break the 3rd day routine though I have a feeling I'll be able to go less then 300-400 cals a day