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To Do It Agian...
Ok, consitering like no one from my school really has an Lj I guess they can't really see the other side of me, its kinda so obviouse no one would dare to join let alone look so in a way its a way to fill all my compulshions into a internet file without being caught or some stupid shitt.
Well im FINALLY getting over my eating disorder, like FINALLY. normal thinking & everything, I just...hate the way I look =( I miss the way I did look back then, I was pretty, then I cutted my hair & it turned to shit, hopefully I'll look like I did in the picture that I have posted....
Well anyway besides beating around the misconceptional point, since my mind is working fine again I can go back to being ana again but this time oober successuve. Theres a way I can get my hands on laxatives again & I'll be taking them when im gone so I wont get caught, oh man, by this september before I go back to Linesville I plan on loseing 25 pds atleast (more if Staci gets me the laxatives) I lied to her saying it was black mail but c,mon body water or not they help. THey took off a good 10 to 15 pds when I was using them, 2 boxes, I told her to get 2 so then thats an automatic loss.
Well anyway other then my sick compulsinated supposeivly "fixed mind" is turning, its actually just a recording of what I would say before. Well I can imagine myself again all the time
No thank you, Im not hungry, I already ate, I dont feel good, im too tired, I'll do it later.
I never do eat it later, I gave it to my dog whch apperently is very deadly bc he gained 10 pds o.o
But anyway, I can just starve again, the craving to have something tro eat in a sickish was is successful, I was a sob story, went sexi healthy then in my ugly position now. I am going to be stick thin again to where I can run in a sports bra with no worry, I just need to post on a few of my ana sites to find out how much weight doing w/e (im not going to say laxatives bc last time I did onna thingy they posted) if I find out how much weight I able to be lost within 3 months, starting june 15th for me but im so angry at myself I'll probably start, tomorrow!!! last day of school anyway. . . . . I was going to transfer to conneaut Lake but then I relized my compitiotion was cut so it makes it easier to consist in a school where all the teachers luv ya, ur always well behaved, the gudiance councelere loves ya but the kids ... still pricks O.O oh well basically this is such a wrant of a journal bc typeing can go on & on & on faster then a pen can to paper (bc pencils are ment for drawing not writing!!) I think I'll lhave to take apps class again bc I know I bomed the final even though Im not done with it yet, oh well while im in math & i'll watch 1 guitar hero game then I'll go finish my final then go leave to do smoething in the band room "RAVES" Well I hope mr. M wears sandals tomorrow likwe he siad he would so I can bash his descuating hiary hobvbits tores....hes adorible & well i g2g take a shower & blow through some english with the AC on O.O bc its practically 12 now, well ily & nits alls <333sexi & makes the cutest puppy face in the world, you would be all aww come here, kinda thing
tiredWell im FINALLY getting over my eating disorder, like FINALLY. normal thinking & everything, I just...hate the way I look =( I miss the way I did look back then, I was pretty, then I cutted my hair & it turned to shit, hopefully I'll look like I did in the picture that I have posted....
Well anyway besides beating around the misconceptional point, since my mind is working fine again I can go back to being ana again but this time oober successuve. Theres a way I can get my hands on laxatives again & I'll be taking them when im gone so I wont get caught, oh man, by this september before I go back to Linesville I plan on loseing 25 pds atleast (more if Staci gets me the laxatives) I lied to her saying it was black mail but c,mon body water or not they help. THey took off a good 10 to 15 pds when I was using them, 2 boxes, I told her to get 2 so then thats an automatic loss.
Well anyway other then my sick compulsinated supposeivly "fixed mind" is turning, its actually just a recording of what I would say before. Well I can imagine myself again all the time
No thank you, Im not hungry, I already ate, I dont feel good, im too tired, I'll do it later.
I never do eat it later, I gave it to my dog whch apperently is very deadly bc he gained 10 pds o.o
But anyway, I can just starve again, the craving to have something tro eat in a sickish was is successful, I was a sob story, went sexi healthy then in my ugly position now. I am going to be stick thin again to where I can run in a sports bra with no worry, I just need to post on a few of my ana sites to find out how much weight doing w/e (im not going to say laxatives bc last time I did onna thingy they posted) if I find out how much weight I able to be lost within 3 months, starting june 15th for me but im so angry at myself I'll probably start, tomorrow!!! last day of school anyway. . . . . I was going to transfer to conneaut Lake but then I relized my compitiotion was cut so it makes it easier to consist in a school where all the teachers luv ya, ur always well behaved, the gudiance councelere loves ya but the kids ... still pricks O.O oh well basically this is such a wrant of a journal bc typeing can go on & on & on faster then a pen can to paper (bc pencils are ment for drawing not writing!!) I think I'll lhave to take apps class again bc I know I bomed the final even though Im not done with it yet, oh well while im in math & i'll watch 1 guitar hero game then I'll go finish my final then go leave to do smoething in the band room "RAVES" Well I hope mr. M wears sandals tomorrow likwe he siad he would so I can bash his descuating hiary hobvbits tores....hes adorible & well i g2g take a shower & blow through some english with the AC on O.O bc its practically 12 now, well ily & nits alls <333sexi & makes the cutest puppy face in the world, you would be all aww come here, kinda thing
irritated
crazy
apathetic
worried